In Which Kurt Ponders Over What Has Become His Life
by Into-Your-Gravity
Summary: "What's so funny?" "I'm best friends with Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez." Kelliot friendship fics with heavy talk of hummelpezberry. Set around 5x09 "Frenemies." Minor mentions of Klaine.


**So here is another Glee oneshot. This time its a conversation between Kurt and Elliot set around Frenemies. Slightly not canon because girls have already started feuding but Rachel hasn't moved out yet. Kurt seeks advice and comes to realize what his life has become. Obviously centered around Kelliot and Hummelpezberry friendships, but also has mentions of Klaine and Dantana.**

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"Thanks for agreeing to come grab coffee with me." Kurt says as he sips his latte and breathes a sigh of relief.

He's so glad to be out of his apartment right now, away from Rachel and Santana's heated feud. While he fears for its current state knowing how vicious the girls can get, he'd rather be away from the warzone to avoid potential damage.

He's getting married for goodness sake. The last thing he needs right now is stress which will inevitably lead to worry lines, which would not be a good look on him.

"No problem. I understand things at the loft are pretty…um…tense." Elliot replies, offering him a supportive smile.

Kurt gives him a dry grin in return. "Tense _might _be understating it. I wouldn't be surprised if the place gets blown up before I get back."

The pair laughs, but only briefly. Kurt truly fears the worst for the place he's spent so much time cozying up to.

"So how long will their fight last?" Elliot asks curiously.

Kurt shrugs. "I can't say. Rachel and Santana are both stubborn, self-righteous divas meaning they could hold this against each other for a long time."

Elliot chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. "Don't let them hear you say that, or they'll fight you too."

Kurt rolls his eyes. "They are both perfectly aware of how I feel about this ridiculous and petty disagreement. Of course, those little narcissists are upset that I'm refusing to take a side."

"Are you not taking a side just because you're trying to stay out of it?"

Kurt takes another long, much-needed sip of his drink. "Partially, yes. It's their fight, and it's not fair to drag me in. Mostly, both did things they shouldn't have. I think considering the circumstances, what Santana did was wrong, but Rachel's reaction made things so much worse than they needed to be. If either of them had gone about this differently, it would have been infinitely better. "

Elliot smiles with obvious amusement. "Clearly you're the only one with any common sense in this situation. It's a pity they won't listen to you."

"I know right. Do you have any idea how hard it is when your best friends are literally at each other's throats, while you're all living under the same roof?"

And then Kurt finds the situation incredibly funny because he's trying to repair a situation between his roommates, who are Rachel and Santana of all people.

This leads to uncontrollable laughter, enough to attract the attention of a few people nearby, who are probably wondering what Elliot said which was so incredibly hilarious.

Elliot on the other hand, looks positively alarmed. One minute Kurt's pissed off at his friends, and the next he's dying of laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm best friends with _Rachel Berry _and _Santana Lopez_." Saying it out loud doesn't make it any less unbelievable, and Kurt's laughing once more.

Elliot attempts to look understanding, but he's probably thinking that Kurt is deranged, and Kurt thinks he should probably stop or he might lose the only sane friend he's got.

"Sorry." He states quickly, in between breaths. "It's just…not something I would have pictured a few years ago."

Elliot nods as if he understands. "Well, people change, and I don't know everything that you guys did in high school, but I'm sure your difference made getting along back then rather difficult."

"Just a bit of an understatement."

"Oh?" Elliot is clearly amused and also very interested. Kurt hasn't narrated much of their high school antics to Elliot.

"well.." Kurt is a bit reluctant to bring up the past. He knows his former opinions of the girls don't portray them in a favorable light, but Elliot's never been one to judge.

"Santana wasn't exactly very nice, and Rachel was the biggest diva known to mankind."

"So nothing's changed then." Elliot says cheekily.

Kurt can only smile because Elliot is technically right. "Yes, well I suppose they've toned down quite a bit. Santana can still be a bitch, and Rachel is still a stage hog, but I guess I've come to see they can be good friends when you need them."

He sighs. "That's why I'm just so frustrated right now. I feel like I'm back in high school. We had some good times then, but so much of it had been filled with drama and I'm ready to focus on the future."

Elliot claps him on the shoulder sympathetically. "I get it. It's kind of hard to escape the past when it follows you around. I think the fact you guys knew each other in high school doesn't help. But, holding on to high school resentments isn't going to change anything for the better."

Kurt nodded, groaning with frustration. "That's exactly what it is. I'm pretty sure this feud wouldn't have been as bad for them if it was anyone else. They both had good reason to dislike each other then, but now it's just petty. I suppose I brought this upon myself."

"So when did you guys become friends exactly."

"Long story. We were already part of 'the family' when we joined Glee club sophomore year, but I didn't get along with Rachel until junior year when we realized we had a lot in common. We became best friends senior year. Santana didn't really open up until senior year either. It was much easier for me and Rachel to talk to her after she came out. Living with her though, I think sort of forced me to get along with her more."

Elliot looks at Kurt and offers a supportive smile. "It sounds like you guys have been through enough together to hold onto that friendship, even if it doesn't make sense. You guys balance each other out."

"I hope so." He grins at his friend thankfully. "I guess they'll make up eventually, but it's going to be hell until then. And who knows when the next big feud comes along?"

"Well…at least your fiancé will be here after he graduates. Nice buffer to have don't you think?"

Kurt rubs his fingers against his chin as if he were thinking deeply. "I suppose we can act all cute in front of them when they get obnoxious. It annoys Santana to death even though she's a complete hypocrite. The way she and Dani are over each other all the time is disgusting."

Both boys wrinkle their faces in disgust; _Pamela Lansbury _practices inevitably lead to Santana and Dani having makeout sessions on the couch, much to their chagrin.

"Just don't do all that when I'm around." Elliot insists and Kurt pretends he will comply.

He can't make any promises.

"At least having another sane person around may keep things normal." Elliot says with a shudder.

Kurt nearly dies when he starts spluttering the coffee after hearing Elliot's ridiculous assumption.

"Oh you haven't even met Blaine. He's like a male Rachel with impeccable fashion taste and more natural charisma."

Elliot smiles weakly at the thought of having a male Rachel Berry around. He likes Rachel a lot, but having someone else like her around sounds like a handful.

"I'm sure you'll manage living like this. You seem to like it after all."

Kurt shrugs. "Oh it's a pain for sure. But I wouldn't change anyone for a second. I love Blaine to death, his Rachel-esque qualities and all. And Rachel and Santana are the fiercest people I know. I couldn't survive the city without them."

"I have to get back to my place and finish up some of my work. Us normal people at NYU have to take academic classes even if we are performing arts majors." Elliot teases, getting up from his seat.

"No problem." Kurt throws his coffee cup in the trash nearby and grabs his bag. "I should probably get back to the loft before it turns into world war three. Thanks for listening. It's good to have a friend who's not clinically insane."

"Happy to be at service. I'm sure the girls will resolve it soon."

"I can only dream. They drive me up the wall, but they are my closest friends and I just miss _us_."

He trusts they will return back to normal though. For all of the horrible things Santana and Rachel have said to each other, he is aware that they do care for each other as deeply as he cares for them, and no matter how large their fights get, they are family, and in the end, families will love each other no matter what.

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**Thanks for reading. I think it sort of diverges from what I may have made it sound like. I just really wanted to write a Kelliot friendship fic, and Hummelpezberry is the best thing Glee has had since the unholy trinity. Thanks for reading. Please review because I plan on writing hummelpezberry oneshots soon, so I want to know what you guys think, and is the tense I use weird? I've been using present tense, while I typically use past tense, I'd like some feedback on that. Check out my Tike oneshot also! **

**~Sirius **


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